How To Portray People Who Don't Have Facebook

"Not having Facebook could be the first sign that you are a mass murderer"

Before beginning you must understand that there are two types of People Who Do Not Have Facebook. One type is old and does not have the ability to use the internet (all your relatives older than thirty fall into this category). It is not this group that interests you - o great, wise commentator on social functions and norms - but rather the second group, which is made up of Young People Who Do Not Have Facebook. 

When discussing these delinquents make sure to enforce that the defining characteristic of their personality is that they Don't Have Facebook. There is literally nothing else that is interesting about them. Ingrain in your reader/viewer the truth that having a Facebook account is the ONLY sign of having a healthy social network and life. Remind them that besides Facebook, there is no other way to make friends or keep in contact with said friends - and so anyone who does not subscribe to this is automatically a loner with no life. They no doubt know this already, but just repeat it to make sure. 

It would also be helpful to mention that a grand total of TWO serial killers - James Holmes and Anders Beiring Breivik - do not have Facebook. Take this as infallible proof that anyone without an account is planning to murder you. Because you are so very important. And because it's not like there's a positive correlation between time spent on Facebook and narcissism or anything (Ryan & Xenos, 2011). 

When constructing characters that Do Not Have Facebook, make sure they are anomalies. Surround them with normal people who do have Facebook, just to prove how much more fun they have. Include many, many, many conversations over pictures that people posted on their walls ("Dude did you see that photo?!"), mysterious status updates ("Dude did you see that status update?!"), or discussions over scintillating groups the protagonist is excluded from. Bonus points if these groups are directly related to the interests of the One Who Does Not Have Facebook. Make sure the protagonist is visibly uncomfortable with their choice of Not Having Facebook.  

If your protagonist is ever asked about their views on Facebook, make sure they voice them strongly. Use opinionated phrases like "Facebook is just stupid." Be careful not to include any reasonable arguments, since your character is obviously misguided and irrational for not being one of the masses. This should not be hard - keep in mind when writing the novel that you are doing a service to this oppressed community. You are exposing their story and giving them a hero, a Facebook Convert, to look up to and emulate. Wow! You are, like, so great. 

Back to the story - the plot of your novel is obviously the conflict between whether the main character should have Facebook or not. Keep in mind that your protagonist is flat, no other conflicts or problems permeate their lives except for this one - the defining question of modern humanity and prerequisite to being human. Explore this conflict through pages of internal angst and deliberation. His/her decision not to go online is because s/he's just too shy. Do not give real reasons like not having enough time or wanting to be productive - those will just confuse your highly intelligent readers. 

Include a defining event as the climax of the novel, where the protagonist is denied a job or similar opportunity because his/her potential employer thinks his Facebook account had so many red flags that it had to be deleted. After this, show your main character staring off into the distance deliberating their decision again. If you are writing a movie instead of a novel, include dramatic music. Build up to the peak where s/he sits down forcibly at the desk, lifts the screen up, and with shaking hands clicks that holy green Sign Up button (a.k.a. the pass to social acceptance). 

The next day, make sure your protagonist has somehow become more attractive and has more friends when they step into school. They are no longer bullied, and their problems have gone away. Their crush even smiles as them! They have now officially become one of Them, the people who have Facebook. As they saunter off into their new found life (which did not exist before), briefly describe the group of people that your protagonist was once a part of - Those Who Do Not Have Facebook. They are all sitting at the same table in the cafeteria, and make sure they are staring jealously at your main character. Do not worry, they will come to realize the error of their ways soon enough - especially thanks to books and movies like yours.